Knee-how China!

GEORGE: It is the end of our China leg already? Heavens!

What will I be taking away with me? Many happy memories, some new friends, two words of Maderin and appalling table manners! (I now tend to shovel food into my mouth which is only a few inches from my bowl with accompanying slurping noises!) Now you've pictured that, I'll tell you what we've been up to for the last 25 days....

After a month of being vegetarian (coz of India for all those who have forgotten) we landed in Beijing and went straight out for some duck pancakes! I couldn't even wait to smile for a photo!

ALEX: After India it was a huge relief to walk along the street (paved street I should add) without having to dodge cows, dead bodies, cows, every mode of transport you can think of, cows................

We met our group and the great China trip began. It was strange at first being in a group on an organised tour, especially having been used to making our own decisions for a while but at the same time it was nice not really having to make any decisions and going where we were told, when we were told. What became apparent very quickly was that having a Chinese speaking guide (Catherine) with us was a huge help and without her ("it´s my English name - when we were at school the teacher showed us a list of names and we chose one each") things would have not only taken a lot longer but to be honest probably just not happened.

The first part of the trip was spent in Beijing seeing all the tourist sites - Tianemen Square, Forbidden City etc.

GEORGE: And then we went to the Great Wall! It really was amazing. Just like you see in all the pictures. A dragons spine that winds it´s way over the hills into the distance. We walked along it for 7 miles and most of the way hardley passed anyone.

BUT the ´extra primo good sir´ bit.....one of the highlights of my LIFE......has to be the wall at sunrise. A group of us got up at 4:30AM and ventured off to one of the high points of the wall and waited! It slowly came to life and it was magic!

ALEX: Words don´t really do it justice so for once I´ll not say much on this one.

GEORGE: After Beijing we headed to Xi'an, which is a great city. It is smallerer and feels more cosmopolitan. Great city wall, temples, markets....nightclubs, that kinda thing. Then to the Terricota Warriors....which were OK. I´ll stop there as I don´t want to ruin it for people as I hear they are coming to London!

ALEX: The quick and exciting update on Xian is that other than seeing the Warriors, we also went to a very lively nightclub (bit gutted that I seemed to get more male attention than female but what with me looking rather buff at the moment, can´t really blame them...) where we all proceed to drink far too much and on the way home George thought it would be a good idea to climb onto a 9ft statue of a Lion and then fall off it onto her wrist.

GEORGE: It still hurts actually. Think I must have torn a ligament. Anyway, you´ll be pleased to know the whole ordeal has made me grow up some what! I am now a mature responsible drinker.

Another long train journey took us to Shanghai. We only had 1.5 days there so really just wandered along the Bund (by the river - our South Bank!) and took in the views at night. Everything lights up and flashes. I preferred it here to Beijing.

Then yet another overnight train journey to Guilin and on to Yangshou were we did a great cycle ride through the countryside, in amongst the camel hump hills - we came across a primary school where Alex proceeded to work the kids up into a frenzie before we said our goodbyes - and a fab cooking class - PS. I now appreciate that all Asians use bloody rice steamers!

ALEX: Max showing Geoge his chopper. You wouldn´t think that we´re technically old enough to be his parents would you!

GEORGE: Speak for yourself...for the record, I´m NOT old enough!

Now let´s talk about Longji! 'ello Longji'. This place is one of my highlights of ther trip!!! We trekked through the rice terreces of Longji. We had peace and quiet, butterflies to accompany us and spectacular 360 views.

ALEX: It was great to get out of the city for a few days and experience rural China - stunning views and some great relaxing strolls through the rice terraces.

GEORGE: In the evening we found oursleves having to give a performance to the locals. But never fear, I with the help of two others, wrote a song 'The 12 days of China' (apart from we had 15 days) which we were all able to take part in in rounds (if you know what I mean). It was very funny, mainly thanks to a crazy old Swedish guy in our group. See if you can stop him in the photo...

Rice wine and dancing was had by all!

ALEX: Final stop Hong Kong. Best bloody cityscape I´ve ever seen! Made even better by the fact that every night at 8pm they lay on a 20 min light show which basically involves most of the buildings on Hong Kong island playing Space Invaders with each other. And we squeezed in an art gallery for George...

GEORGE: Oh, and did I mention my hand is bigger than Jackie Chan´s?

Incredible Indiaaaaaaaaa.......

GEORGE: Everything I've heard, read and seen of India in the past is true! It's all true!!! (And I thought Hanoi was hectic!)

India has been a colourful emotional rollercoaster......it's a love hate thing! It gives all your senses, infact your whole being, a serious workout. It's a pleasure followed by pain thing....just when you've been ripped off for the 100th time and you're about to scream and kick out at the nearest begging child....you meet an adorable family who invite you to their home, their Birthday party and then their wedding! Where to start....

I could start with the fact that I seem to have developed a 'head wobble' when talking....but I'll start at the beginning...

We flew into Mumbai (Bombay) on 29 March and spent only a day wandering around the city which was good. Neither of us were knocked over by culture shock which we had braced ourselves for.

We then started to head south, our aim being to eventually meet our friends Simon and Vicky in Kerela.

I thought a quick stop in Goa was a good idea as I'd heard from people what a beautiful place it is. Unfortunately we didn't know where in Goa. So at the airport we quickly consulted our Lonely Planet and decided that Kolva sounded like a nice place and not too far from the airport!

Oh my God!!! Once we had booked ourselves into the 'Williams Beach Resort', we looked around to find ourselves in Costa-del-Goa, with Rodney, Del-boy and Raquel proping up the bar! Despite exploring Kolva in the hope of being mistaken, we didn't find anything. So deciding not to waste anymore time, we jumped on the first plane out of there.....wallop!

ALEX: I did however manage a 9 dart finish to win the Wednesday night darts challenge. To top it all we came second in the meat raffle which is always a result....

GEORGE: We arrived in Cochin to meet our lovely pals Simon and Vicky (ello Si and V!). Respecting that in Kerela (India?), on the first day of every month it is forbidden to sell/drink alcohol, we drank our celebratary beer from teapots and milk jugs. It was really good to see them on their temporary turf.

We then headed to Allepey, where after a day of tough negotiations, we found our house boat and crew, and set off on our 3 day voyage of Kerela's backwaters.






Our daily routine consisted of: admiring the stunning morning views from our lounge chairs before moving to the table where breakfast was served. We then returned to our lounge chairs to carry on admiring the view until we were called back to the table where lunch was served...after which we returned again to the lounge chairs where afternoon tea was served. And then at around 8pm we were called to be seated and dinner was served. And lest I forget, we then retired to our lounge chairs to relax (some more) before bed.


All this for 3 days......it was amazing!!!


To make sure our brain power remained switched on we played lots of cards, and so our muscles did not deteriotrate, we did some shotput with coconuts (well I did anyway!).


ALEX: After so much time in one place (when I say one place, I mean a 6m x 15m 'place'), one starts to understand what life must me like doing a 'stretch' in Wandsworth nick. As the pictures below show the cross dressing that took place was merely in aid of the final night caberet laid on to honour our fantastic .......................... SERVANTS!!!!!!!!!

















GEORGE: And what better way to spend a Birthday. Big thanks to you Si and V and of course Alex for making it so special with pressies, cake and champagne!



The boat trip was perfect and recommended to all.






So after that mini holiday, we didn't hang around. We changed from summer gear into winter gear and flew right up North into the Himalayas, to Leh in Ladak.

'Jooooo-lay' everyone! (It means hello/goodbye/thankyou)



Leh is SPECTACULAR! You actually feel like you are in Tibet rather than India. The people are gorgeous, and because it was off season there, it was very chilled (relaxing as well as temp').

In a 4x4 we toured the mountains. A highlight was Prangong Lake, 130km wide and half in China. It was frozen. We took the opportunity to pose for our album cover for our group called 'Do What?' (said in a loud East London accent), first single release called 'Yorkshire Dales'! Unfortunately this is a 'you had to be there joke', and even then it probably wasn't funny, but we were all dizzy with altitude sickness!

The army were up for it though!











I've got to speed up a bit now....after Leh we tackled Delhi. NUTS!!!
People, dogs, cows, rickshaws, auto-rickshaws, horses, carts, cars and buses all coming at you from all directions and missing your toes by cm's. You either love the craze or hate it. I loved it...Alex didn't!


ALEX: Perhaps a little strong but not too far off the mark to be fair! Not being the most patient man in the world, it is at times a rather 'challenging' city ...............


GEORGE: Here we said goodbye to Si and V and carried on to Rajasthan.....two down. We went to Jaipur (jewellery shops)...


ALEX: After a lovely (if not a little too spicy) meal, we decided to walk home to digest our dinner. It was pretty dark and on a number of occassions the paving stones ended but the pavement continued and took the form of a dirt track. So when the same thing happened after about the fourth time, I (being in front, blazing our trail) thought nothing of it and stepped confidently off the paving stones, onto what I thought was another dirt track. It was only when I was almost up to my knees in human 'waste' (bearing in mind I was wearing shorts and Birkenstocks!), that it very quickly became clear the dirt track was not exactly what it said on the tin. George followed after me but managed to stop herself in time to keep one foot out of the sewer. A very smelly rickshaw ride and a shower involving a whole bottle of TCP later we were feeling relatively normal again!

GEORGE: before heading onto Jodhpur, the blue city, which I loved. So compact with lots of narrow streets.













On the train on the way there we met a father and his gorgeous children (remember I mentioned this at the beginning? How many of you have actually read this far?) After lots of chats and games of Ludo, we were invited to their house the following day for lunch. We both felt extremly lucky.


We were treated like celebrities. They all sat and watched just the two of us eat on our own, before we were dragged into the front room for dancing. We were both pretty embarrassed, but in these situations, you have no choice as saying 'no' is never an option. That includes when being offered more food, whisky and more dancing!

They then invited us to a family wedding (which I was sooooooo thrilled to receive. Of course we will be in China but to receive one is rare treat!). Instead they settled to us attending a Birthday party the following day.




The whole experience was magic. We were able to watch and take part in family traditions. Their hospitality was quite over whelming.

When it was time to leave, we were sent on our way with their blessing.













Back in Delhi, the one thing we still need to do before we leave is visit Agra to see the Taj Mahal! We are doing this tomorrow before we leave.

I feel relieved we have both made it through India in one piece and with our sanity still intact. And I've surprised myself by thinking I am actually going to miss it. For me, doses of India should be taken little and infrequently, but definetly taken. India really is a world of it's own.

ALEX: India has been a great experience and I have taken a lot from our time here - just as you think things can't get any worse - they do! That said, it's the completely random acts of completely selfless generosity on a number of levels that more than make the whole experience so worth while.

Well, having successfully been veggies for the last month - China will bring with it the prospect of something we have both been looking forward to for a while now - CRISPY DUCK PANCAKES!!!!!!